Using Good Manners When Blogging and Commenting

When I first started blogging I thought that I could write about anything I wanted, in any way I felt like saying it. It didn’t matter if someone was offended because it was my space anyways. I know many act on this when they post on their blogs. I didn’t go back and check my posts for a better way to say things and still commit the same mistake

Our Beloved (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said in a hadith, “Let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day either speak good or remain silent.” He didn’t give us any middle path. We either say something good or shut up. I struggle with this offline so imagine how much more of a struggle it is online where I feel I can loosen up a bit. But can I really risk doing this online? Not at all. What was said was clear, with no ifs. The internet is real life as well and behind the monitors sit real people. Not to mention, the internet is a place where misunderstandings occur so much faster because there is no tone of voice to accompany what is being read.

It’s important to say things in the best way possible, even when we are standing up against something we believe to be an injustice. We’re never going to be able to spare someone the hurt because we live in a world of a whole lot of disagreement and of taking things, even when so insignificant, personal. However, we must do our best to choose the best words possible and try to go back and check what we write. Plus, it builds better dialogue. Isn’t that what we are after? Small misunderstandings are easier to get by but rude manners are something people will associate with our writing if that is what is present. Trying this may spare us a lot of those negative comments that tend to piss us off and cause further division. This isn’t giving up our opinions or our ‘right’ to express it (something to talk about another day) but simply part of the ABC’s of humanity.

I check my posts often but it is usually once I push the publish button. Not a good sign, especially when I consider my offline control. It’s also good to remind those of us that leave comments that when we don’t agree with something on someone’s blog or when we do take offense by something that we make excuses first (important for us bloggers to remember as we read others’ comments). Having husn adh-dhann (good opinions/thoughts) is part of this religion and a part of improving the self. Our Beloved (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

‏عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ‏ ‏صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ‏ ‏قَالَ ‏‏ حُسْنُ الظَّنِّ مِنْ حُسْنِ الْعِبَادَةِ

To have good thoughts (or suspicions) is from well-conducted worship. [Abu Dawood]

He (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) also said,

‏ ‏إِيَّاكُمْ وَالظَّنَّ فَإِنَّ الظَّنَّ أَكْذَبُ الْحَدِيثِ وَلَا ‏ ‏تَحَسَّسُوا ‏ ‏وَلَا ‏ ‏تَجَسَّسُوا ‏ ‏وَلَا تَنَافَسُوا وَلَا تَحَاسَدُوا وَلَا تَبَاغَضُوا وَلَا ‏ ‏تَدَابَرُوا ‏ ‏وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللَّهِ إِخْوَانًا

“Avoid suspicion, for suspicion is the gravest lie in talk and do not be inquisitive about one another and do not spy upon one another and do not feel envy with the other, and nurse no malice, and nurse no aversion and hostility against one another. And be fellow-brothers and servants of Allah.” [Muslim]

It is also important to remember that no one forces us to comment. I avoid commenting in many places because of the types of topics discussed or the manner in which they are discussed. Back in the ‘days’ I would of jumped right in on every single one of those but it brings about too much fitnah for me and my heart. I know that when I am angry it is my ego that dominates, so I force myself to close out and re open later and what I find is that most of the time I never return to it again.

Here are some questions I ask myself often that I believe everyone of us (of course, aimed at Muslims in particular) needs to consider before writing (since this is internet related) anything.

1. What is the purpose of this entry?

2. Will posting this benefit or harm my relationship with my Creator at all?

3. Can it lead to good dialogue? Bad dialogue?

4. Are there better ways to word things?

5. Will a disclaimer help?

Just some thoughts going through this head of mine at 11 P.M this Friday evening. I hope anyone that reads it will consider it. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala bestow His Mercy upon all of us. Ameen

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