Just Being Honest…

Bismillah

I’m cautious around people because as a child I was hurt too much by the people around me. I’m cautious because people are mean, cruel, deceitful, and negative. I have enough negativity of my own and not enough patience to deal with more. I’m trying to build a life for myself that is more positive, full of simplicity and tranquility. I like to be encouraged to do things that will aid me in my journey.

Talk to me about Allah.

Encourage me to leave a bad habit.

Teach me a hadeeth or remind me of one I already know.

If you see me yell at my kids unjustly, please let me know.

If I use a foul word, remind me to speak only good. Remind me that angels are writing and that our Lord is watching.

If you see that I am worrying too much about the worldly stresses, make du’a’ for me and remind me that Allah doesn’t overburden.

If you see that my children are doing something they shouldn’t, let me know, and help me in reminding them that Allah Hears and Sees all.

I’m trying to appreciate the few good friends I have in my community but I know I don’t appreciate the friends I have made online in my years in the online world. I have gotten beautiful gifts from sisters I have never met. I have gotten phone calls. I have been given the opportunity to travel and meet some of you. Some of you write me emails full of reminders. Others inspire me with your blog posts.

People are saying that the good blogs are gone but I believe the good blogs are out there. They are the blogs of people who are trying to see the positive in people, not the negative. They are those that are looking for more – a Meaningful and Everlasting More. I sometimes wish I could live near some of these beautiful women who blog about the positive things in life. I realize that we all have low moments in our lives. I have them, too much. The encouragement I get from your reminders, your humour, the pictures that capture the simple and blessed moments in your lives… all of this encourages me when I log off. I enter my kitchen looking forward to the meals I am about to partake in. I’m encouraged to pick up a new book, to take on a new hobby. I look forward to doing the small tasks such as making my bed for the sake of my Creator as I read how much some of you enjoy what you do . I’m encouraged to do more crafty things with my children, to charge my batteries in my camera to capture a sample of the work we do around here. I feel like I owe some of you that because of all you share with me. It’s fun.

I try to be careful even with the blogs I read. I read quite a number of blogs and am behind on some. I cut back on many that weren’t benefiting my life, just as I have cut back on time with certain people in my offline life. It’s something I have to do to keep sane. I try to find the good in people now and love it but I can’t help it right now that as I try to build myself, build my home, and care for my children and husband, dealing with a little too much negativity is something I can not take on.

I ache to have that tranquility that seems so distant in this life. People can really bring us down. I’m trying to be cautious with myself! I’ll admit that I’m even cautious with my family. I love them, I miss them. When I am near them, I want to move back home… but when I come back to my own home that I am trying to build I realize that I am better here, at least for now.

Khalas.

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